contents
- 1. You know best what you want out of a relationship.
- 2. Your decision is based on a conscious choice.
- 3. You have learned to take responsibility
- 4. You can afford to open up to your partner.
- 5. You understand the importance of realistic expectations.
- 6. Instead of fixing your partner, you change your own life.
- 7. You learned how to talk about problems in a relationship.
- 8. You learn to forgive every day.
- 9. You are confident in choosing a partner
The statistics are depressing: second marriages break up more often than the first. But statistics are not a sentence. Psychotherapist Terry Gaspard says that as we grow older and wiser, we learn many lessons from a failed marriage. She names 9 reasons why a second marriage can be more successful.
1. You know best what you want out of a relationship.
Experience has taught you a lot: now you know what relationship dynamics are most beneficial for you. The second marriage gives you the opportunity to take into account this experience from the very beginning.
2. Your decision is based on a conscious choice.
When you got married for the first time, you could be tormented by doubts: are you doing the right thing? But you still decided to take this step out of a sense of duty or fear of being alone.
3. You have learned to take responsibility
If at least one of the partners is capable of this, the relationship may have a future. It is known that the reactions of one of the spouses in conflict situations directly affect the brain activity of the other.
Don’t be afraid to apologize to your partner if you have anything to do with it. This way you show respect for his or her feelings and help both of you forgive each other and move on. Apologizing can heal a loved one’s heartache, even if you hurt his or her feelings unintentionally. If partners avoid discussing dissatisfaction and feelings due to unresolved conflicts, hostility begins to accumulate.
4. You can afford to open up to your partner.
In a healthy relationship, you can trust your partner, share your thoughts and feelings with him. Since you no longer have to be constantly on your guard, your daily life will become calmer.
5. You understand the importance of realistic expectations.
Love alone is not enough to change a person, his character and upbringing. Suppose, in order to feel more confident, it is important for you to receive signs of attention from a partner. If you fall in love with a restrained person, you are likely to experience discontent and disappointment. In a second marriage, you can avoid these mistakes if you initially accept your partner as he is.
6. Instead of fixing your partner, you change your own life.
Many of us are too focused on trying to change our partner instead of solving our problems. The energy that you spent on these fruitless attempts in the past, you can now direct to work with your own shortcomings — your relationship will only benefit from this.
7. You learned how to talk about problems in a relationship.
Attempts to pretend that there are no problems usually end badly. In a new marriage, you will certainly try to immediately discuss with your partner your doubts and concerns, while expressing your feelings, thoughts and desires in a respectful manner. Now you are struggling with thoughts and beliefs that prevent you from forgetting old grievances.
8. You learn to forgive every day.
Now you apologize to your partner when necessary, and you yourself are ready to accept his or her apology. This shows them that their feelings are worthy of respect, and improves the atmosphere in the family. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you approve of your spouse’s actions that hurt you, but it does allow both of you to put the past behind you and move on.
9. You are confident in choosing a partner
You have realized that marriage will never be your only source of happiness, so you do not give up your own dreams and aspirations, but actively try to make them come true. However, your partner is important to you and you believe in your marriage.